Meet the B. family. Mrs. B's sister and brother-in-law were murdered in a terrorist attack. They left behind six young orphans. The family decided it would be best to leave the children together so Mrs. B. brought her nieces and nephews into her home, to raise them along with her own three young children. Her mother, the terror orphans' grandmother, lives nearby and is involved in the children's care.
When TOP first began operating nearly one year ago, the program coordinators approached Mrs. B. and offered assistance, suggesting mentors for the children in her care. Mrs. B. graciously declined, stating that she has too many offers of help, that so many people in her life is cause for confusion, and that ultimately nothing of value comes out of all these offers.
About half a year later, after hearing about the positive impact TOP is making on the lives of terror orphans and their caregivers, Mrs. B. contacted Ezer Mizion and requested to join TOP. The family was assessed and four children were given mentors. The children were thrilled, Mrs. B. was pleased and the TOP staff was very satisfied. Until a problem arose: Mrs. B's children began expressing their resentment and jealousy. It was hard enough for them to share their mother and parents with 6 new "siblings", but now four of them were getting such special attention from their TOP mentors. The envy was obvious and damaging.
It was hard enough for them to share their mother and parents with 6 new "siblings", but now four of them were getting such special attention from their TOP mentors.
Mrs. B. consulted with TOP social workers and it was decided to give her children mentors as well to ensure that all of the children get the individual attention they need. This is helping Mr. and Mrs. B. to better deal with the challenge and responsibility they have undertaken of raising six terror orphans together with their own children.
The H. family tragically lost their young father in a terror attack one year ago that left a young widow and five orphans. The mother requested mentors for only three of the children, saying that the other two children are fine and do not need help.
Mrs. H. recently contacted the TOP supervisor and related her how her eldest son, Dvir, all of nine years old, has undergone a drastic change in mood and behavior. Dvir has become violent at home and in school, unruly and difficult to discipline. TOP staff spoke to the child and arranged professional counseling for him to help him deal with his expressions of grief at the death of his father, which began to emerge only now, one year after the violent loss.
In addition, Dvir has been matched to a mentor, whom he now needs very badly. The mentor receives special direction from the psychologist who is counseling the child, presents weekly feedback and gets guidance from the psychologist and the TOP social worker, to ensure that he will be helped in the best way possible.
In a similar situation, Yahav, a nine and a half year old boy who lost his father, responded with extreme negativity to his mentor. He was uncooperative and rebellious. The mentor discussed the problem with senior TOP staff and was given guidance in handling the challenges he was encountering.
Very gradually, with much patience, understanding and warmth, the mentor has won the child over. Yahav now readily discusses and accepts ideas from his mentor, willingly finishes his homework and looks forward to their meetings with anticipation. He has become more calm and cooperative at home.
Yahav and his TOP mentor have just finished building a small model car together, a project which brought them closer and which they both enjoyed.
Nadav is a sweet, five year old boy, one of five little siblings who lost their father in a terrorist attack. His father was a charismatic and warm person and he is sorely missed in the community where he was so active, and at home, by his loving children and young widow.
Nadav's mother felt she could barely go on following the loss of her beloved husband, until TOP matched a young couple to serve as mentors for her family and help her at home. Mr. Mentor is a father figure for her young boys, studying and playing with them, taking them on outings and to shul to daven on Shabbat. Mrs. Mentor works with the girls, and helps the mother several times a week bathing the children and giving them supper.
Initially, Nadav resented his mentor, and he became unmanageable at home. He was bitter and sad. He could not verbalize his anguish at the sudden loss of his beloved father. The mentor received tips on handling the child, to help him express his grief and gain his trust. Some of their activities included wildflower picking and making a bouquet for Nadav's mother, preparing a surprise for family members, and cooking a special dish.
Nadav has made a significant turnabout since the beginning of his care eight months ago with TOP. He feels close to his mentor and eagerly waits for the time they spend together. His behavior at home has improved enormously. He is cheerful and takes initiative to be helpful. It is clear that helping Nadav deal with his grief has already made a strong positive impact on his life.
Related Links:
Terror Orphan Program
TOP Dedication Opportunities
TOP Facts and Figures | 
